Series

Two and a Half Men

2003 · 12 seasons · 262 episodes · Ended · CBS

Comedy

TMDB 7.4 · 3,776 votes

Sign in to track this

Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Episodes

  • S01E01Pilot2003-09-2223m

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

  • S01E02Big Flappy Bastards2003-09-2921m

    Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

  • S01E03Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell2003-10-0621m

    Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

  • S01E04If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap2003-10-1321m

    Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

  • S01E05The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump2003-10-2019m

    Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

  • S01E06Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?2003-10-2721m

    The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

  • S01E07If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake2003-11-0321m

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

  • S01E08Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful2003-11-1019m

    Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

  • S01E09Phase One, Complete2003-11-1721m

    Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

  • S01E10Merry Thanksgiving2003-11-2421m

    Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

  • S01E11Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor2003-12-1520m

    When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

  • S01E12Camel Filters and Pheromones2004-01-0521m

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

  • S01E13Sarah Like Puny Alan2004-01-1220m

    Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

  • S01E14I Can't Afford Hyenas2004-02-0221m

    Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

  • S01E15Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick2004-02-0921m

    Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

  • S01E16That Was Saliva, Alan2004-02-1621m

    Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

  • S01E17Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats2004-02-2320m

    Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

  • S01E18An Old Flame with a New Wick2004-03-0121m

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

  • S01E19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You2004-03-2219m

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

  • S01E20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark2004-04-1921m

    Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

  • S01E21No Sniffing, No Wowing2004-05-0321m

    Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

  • S01E22My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet2004-05-1021m

    When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

  • S01E23Just Like Buffalo2004-05-1721m

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

  • S01E24Can You Feel My Finger?2004-05-2421m

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

Cast